


Yoda is a Goddamn Troll

by itsmyusualday



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Getting Together, M/M, Swearing, Trolling, Yoda is a Troll, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 12:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13053651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmyusualday/pseuds/itsmyusualday
Summary: Yoda is obsessed with the gays."What the fuck," Poe said, staring at the little green person in front of him."Who the fuck," corrected the...thing. "Yoda, I am. Teach you the ways of the gay, I shall."





	Yoda is a Goddamn Troll

The first time he appeared, Poe was trying to get a box out from under his bed.  
"Hmm!" came a throaty voice beside his feet. "Most interesting this is!"  
"What the fuck," Poe said, smacking his forehead on the board as he tried to see who it was. He knew for a fact that he'd shut the door. "Dammit," he said, rubbing his forehead and scooting out from underneath the bed.  
There was a giggly laugh.  
"What the fuck," Poe said, staring at the little green person in front of him.  
"Who the fuck," corrected the...thing. "Yoda, I am. Teach you the ways of the gay, I shall."  
"What the fuck," said Poe for the third time.  
Someone knocked on his door.  
"Um, Poe?" came Finn's voice. "I need some help with this thing."  
The Yoda thing waggled its slightly shimmering brows at Poe. "The Effin, you shall get."  
"His name is Finn, not F-N," Poe said before he could stop himself.  
Yoda looked him up and down. "Hmm," it said. "Not what I said, that was."  
"Poe?" Finn said, opening the door. Poe, still sitting on the floor, stared up at him. "Who were you talking to?"  
Poe looked back at where Yoda had been, but the little green thing was gone.  
"I don't even know," Poe said.

"It's Master Yoda," said Leia when Poe asked her about the thing. "He's been trolling everyone in his little...Force shimmery form. Ignore him."  
"Yes, totally," said Poe. "This is me, ignoring him." He looked up and away from Yoda, but his gaze happened to fall on Finn, who was just bending over to pick up a fork he'd dropped.  
"Gay, that is," said Yoda.  
Poe dropped his own fork.

"Gay," said Yoda as Finn handed Poe a wrench while they worked on the engine together.  
"Fuck off," Poe muttered.  
Finn looked offended.

"Gayyy," said Yoda as Finn and Poe walked down the hallway side by side, very closely.  
"Fuck off," Poe said.  
Finn stared at him.

"Gaaayyyyyyy," Yoda said when Finn tripped over BB-8 and Poe helped him up, their hands lingering.  
"Fuck off," Poe snapped.  
Finn slapped his hand away.

"Gaaayyyyyyyyyyyy as FUCK," said Yoda when Finn, showing Poe one of the Stormtrooper fighting techniques, pinned Poe on the mat and stayed on top of him for much longer than was necessary.  
"Fuck the fuck off!" Poe bellowed.  
Finn stormed away.

"Gay," said Yoda when the two collided into each other and just stayed there, staring gayly into each other's eyes.  
"Fuck me," Poe said.  
Finn jumped on him.

"Gay, I must find," said Yoda, wandering off to find another hopeless gay to set up.


End file.
